Today In Earth Shaking News: Your Zodiac Sign Probably Isn't What You Think It Is

If you were happy with your sign, this is almost sure to bum you out. If you were/are really into astrology, this is going to induce a serious identity crisis. But, hey, life goes on, you know? Just roll with it, and be flexible like me, a newly ordained Gemini (which truly fits my personality infinitely better than my previous, misguided match: Cancer.) Here's how this shift in identity condescension came about:

"A recent Harris Poll found that 31 percent of Americans believe in astrology. They're wrong -- although not necessarily in the way their detractors might cite.

"The ancient Babylonians based zodiac signs on the constellation the sun was "in" on the day a person was born. During the ensuing millenniums, the moon's gravitational pull has made the Earth "wobble" around its axis, creating about a one-month bump in the stars' alignment.

"The result?

"'When [astrologers] say that the sun is in Pisces, it's really not in Pisces," said Parke Kunkle, a board member of the Minnesota Planetarium Society.

"Indeed, most horoscope readers who consider themselves Pisces are actually Aquarians. So instead of being sensitive, humane and idealistic, they actually are friendly, loyal and inventive.

"Or not."

Here's the new, updated chart, in case you're curious about who you are.

Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16.
Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11.
Pisces: March 11-April 18.
Aries: April 18-May 13.
Taurus: May 13-June 21.
Gemini: June 21-July 20.
Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10.
Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16.
Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30.
Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23.
Scorpio: Nov. 23-29.
Ophiuchus:* Nov. 29-Dec. 17.
Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20.

* Discarded by the Babylonians because they wanted 12 signs per year.