Captain Neato Wes Anderson and the Problem with Hipsters; Or, What Happens When a Generation Refuses to Grow Up

"What will the hipsters be remembered for? The last few months I have raised this question in Brooklyn, on the sagging couches of its Brownstones and over the din of the glowing jukeboxes in its dives. The most common answer is "Nothing." New York Rock? So much retread. The hipsters' championing of vintage clothing? Sorry, you can't be remembered for remembering. The embrace of white-trash chic—trucker hats and so on? Interesting but evil. Though not authentically evil. The hippies had Charles Manson, one friend noted. "We haven't even produced a decent serial killer."

So the youth culture of the moment believes itself doomed to historical insignificance. But wait, what's that on the horizon? It's a dayglow yellow helicopter. Who's piloting that whirlybird, the man in the pom-pom-topped orange knit cap, the sky-blue jumpsuit with royal-blue trim, the brown corduroy blazer, and the glasses with clear-plastic frames? Why, it's Wes Anderson. For a brief half decade or so, he seemed the voice of our generation, the hipster messiah. He took the ethos of the subculture and made it the governing principle in his films' every detail—their sets, costumes, characters, and neato conceits (one might even say, their metaphysics). "You know, when things are going bad, like at work, or if I get home and my girlfriend doesn't want to talk to me, I just stick The Royal Tenenbaums in the DVD player, and I'm in that Wes Anderson world." That's how one guy answered my straw poll, and everyone around the table agreed with him."

...

"Surely there must be a trust fund, or at least a platinum card, in sight. In this case help arrives in the form of Owen Wilson's inheritance. Money is a funny thing with hipsters. They exist in a state of perpetual luxuriant slumming. They drink blue-collar beers but hold white-collar jobs. Or vice versa. Whether he comes from above or below, the hipster takes care never to appear to be striving. Class anxiety isn't hip. There's something utopian about the trucker hat. But of course the hipster couldn't afford to dress down if there weren't a taut social safety net in place. Debt relief from mom or dad might be just a phone call away. Then there's that steady freelancing gig that's always there when you need it, no matter how distasteful it might be to proofread ad copy or put on that catering uniform. And let's not forget that guy you can count on. His star always burned a bit dimmer than yours, but it never burns out. Perhaps he wears glasses, but without irony. There's something weird about his apartment—it's nice, not squalid. You may not talk to him much anymore—he's not in your crowd, not hip enough, I guess, but loyal, and responsible, still holding down the same basically shitty job. He'll always bail you out or put you up."

Read the doozy: http://www.nplusonemag.com/captain-neato

Don't Believe The Rumors

"There is a hypothesis which is both stronger and simpler: it is that the political and thus subjective history of communisms is essentially divided from their State history. The criminal objectivity of the Stalinist State is one thing, the militant subjectivity of communists is another; the latter has its own referents, its own singular development, and its own nonobjective prescriptions. Criminal objectivity only ever functioned as a general argument - it has always perfectly functioned for reactionaries [...] inasmuch as political subjectivity, the sequential "we", was obsolete.

"It is not the revelation of a crime, by Solzhenitsyn or anyone else, which ruined the political hypothesis of communism ('communism' understood here within the twentieth century's sequence of 'we'). It is the death - once again, the ancient death - of the hypothesis which allowed these 'revelations' to have such efficacy. Because if political subjectivity has become unable to support, by itself, in thought and act, the singularity of its trajectory (and thus also its philosophical connection to emancipatory eternity, to the invariants), then there is no longer any other reference than that of the State, and it is clear that the criminal character of such and such State becomes an argument without an answer.

"It is not because the Stalinist State was criminal that the Leninist prescriptions, crystallized on October '17, ceased to expose communism to its eternity within time (moreover, what relation is there between these prescriptions, that event and the Stalinist State apart from pure empirical consequence?) It is because there were no longer any possible militants of such an exposition, for intrinsic and purely political reasons, that the Stalinist State - once it had retroactively become the absurd incarnation of the Idea - functioned as an unanswerable historical argument against the Idea itself.

"This is why the ruin of the Party-State is a process immanent to the history of States. It succumbs to its objective solitude, to its subjective abandon. It succumbs by the absenting of politics, and singularly of any politics deserving the name 'communist'. The anarchic confused deplorable spectacle - but necessary and legitimate because what is dead must die - of this ruin testifies, not to the 'death of communism', but to the immense consequences of its lack."

-Alain Badiou

PIRATE RADIO IS FEEL GOODERY LIBERAL PROPAGANDA

Geneva, 30 March 2010. Beams collided at 7 TeV in the LHC at 13:06 CEST, marking the start of the LHC research programme. Particle physicists around the world are looking forward to a potentially rich harvest of new physics as the LHC begins its first long run at an energy three and a half times higher than previously achieved at a particle accelerator.

“It’s a great day to be a particle physicist,” said CERN1 Director General Rolf Heuer. “A lot of people have waited a long time for this moment, but their patience and dedication is starting to pay dividends.”



Is the Higgs mechanism for generating elementary particle masses via electroweak symmetry breaking indeed realised in nature? 

Is supersymmetry, an extension of the Standard Model and Poincaré symmetry, realised in nature, implying that all known particles have supersymmetric partners?

Are there extra dimensions, as predicted by various models inspired by string theory, and can we detect them?

Are electromagnetism, the strong nuclear force and the weak nuclear force just different manifestations of a single unified force, as predicted by various Grand Unification Theories?

Why is gravity so many orders of magnitude weaker than the other three fundamental forces? 

Are there additional sources of quark flavours, beyond those already predicted within the Standard Model?

Why are there apparent violations of the symmetry between matter and antimatter? 

What was the nature of the quark-gluon plasma in the early universe? .

AND IF YOU FEEL LIKE KEEPING ON KICKING, FEEL FREE

Public Speaking Score

I've got my beefs with Obama, but god damn his words are sexy. I finally got around to watching his address to the Democratic members of the House of Representatives on the day before the health care reform vote, and he straight up killed it. The video is below. It's 30 minutes long, but I really recommend carving out some time to give the whole thing a look. The first 16 minutes he spends laying out the actual framework of the bill, which has been the subject of much speculation and flat out lies. After that he goes into serious inspiration mode, or what one prominent conservative non-thinker has called "all that hopey-changey stuff". The Lincoln quote he pulls out is a solid one, not just for capitalist politicians, but for all of you who are interested in a better and more just world; "I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true."

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

And if you're looking for a more concise analysis of the significance of health care reform, Biden's got your back:

A Bunch of Fucking Assholes

All three of you faithful Cake Police followers will not be shocked in the least by the fact that I think James Cameron is an asshole with an unconscionably overinflated ego whose lofty purported morals are dubious at best. However, today brings interesting news of James Cameron, never one for introspection, calling another fucking asshole out for what he is. This fucking asshole is none other than Glenn Beck. Says Cameron:

"Glenn Beck is a fucking asshole"

Agreed!

Cameron, ever the environmentalist, also had some harsh words for global warming deniers:

"I want to call all those deniers out into the street at high noon and shoot it out with those boneheads."

Sounds great! I mean, this is really a win-win scenario. This way James Cameron would be gone forever, we wouldn't be subjected to two more Avatar movies, and maybe be minus one or two other idiot assholes.

Here's one of those idiot/fucking assholes who would hopefully go down:

For maximum symbolic efficiency, imagine that that is Barack Obama W's wiping his hand off on.

I know how much you guys hate self promotion...

but...

We made a video dad!

Please give us yr money so we can go on vacation with our friends!



Pretty much the deal is that WITT and Snuffy are going to do a tour of the EuroZone during the next cold season. We don't really have the money for this kind of thing. But this is where you come in... Get CDs, postcards, private concerts, and more for helping us out!

Just click the link and you'll see a beautiful video along with all the details you could ever hope and wish for.

Partial Vindication

GODSPEED AIN'T GOT SHIT ON ME

GODSPEED AIN'T GOT SHIT ON ME

Hype, Reaction, Regression, and Progress

My fellow Cake Sheriffs! I have certainly missed you during the (what felt like eternal) time period in which I didn't have a steady internet connection. I'm glad to see that this blog is still alive and kicking, and I'm sure that my absence wasn't too sorely missed, if noticed at all.

Now that I'm back on the online, I've spent a little bit of time here and there, bouncing between blogs, figuring out what topics and discussions I had potentially missed out on. In my searches I stumbled upon a dialogue that I wish I could have been a part of, and was inspired to share some thoughts that I don't think were touched upon.

First I want to extend a warm congratulations to Cake Police extended family CULTS for garnering some sick press over the past few weeks! Regardless of how anyone feels about their music and/or how the cycle of press was created, its always a good thing to see friends (or I guess friends of friends in this case) succeed. Another congratulations is in order for garnering a pack of haters. Having haters is generally the first indication that you're doing something well, so uh... keep up the good work I guess.

Aside from well-wishing though, I wanted to comment more on the argument I observed that at its core was between progress vs. tradition, in regards to the music industry. Removing the band CULTS from the equation, the debate was centered on what system is better for musicians and listeners alike: one where bands are weathered and tested by playing live shows and building grassroots followings, OR one in which bands can be catapulted into the world-wide spotlight without necessarily proving themselves in a live setting, or otherwise.

The thing that disgusts me the most about this whole debate is the assumption that there needs to be a connection between LIVE music and RECORDED music. For decades, live music and recorded music have been looked at as almost one in the same. Bands of nearly any genre have followed a pattern of recording songs as they play them live, and playing songs live as they are on their recordings. It disappoints me to think that people still hold onto this tradition, and won't accept the separation of these two ideas. Its 2010. Any kid with an ounce of inspiration can pirate recording software, buy a great mic for $100, call up their friend who plays drums, and record a rock album that rivals the quality of any major studio. The same can be said about almost any genre of music. The power to record music is finally in the hands of the musicians, and no longer exclusively with the record labels. This is called progress. I love seeing live music, but really wouldn't give a shit if I never got a chance to see my favorite bands play live again. Why? Because I respect recording as an art form, and am grateful for the albums (result of recording, not playing live) that have changed my life. Do I need to see the music performed live to fully appreciate it? Shit no.

The debate between these two systems also seems related to the way music is distributed today. Critics of the way music is distributed via the press via the internet claim that the older way of doing things was superior: finding out about bands via shows, then perhaps looking them up via their label or the internet to find out more about them. Although I find it hard to believe that anyone SERIOUSLY feels that way (how many bands have we discovered through Napster?), this way of thinking is nothing but archaic to me, keeping power in the hands of those who have ALWAYS separated musicians from listeners: labels, venues, booking agents (sorry Cory), and corporate radio. Why would anyone argue for a system that rewards coincidence (happening to be at a show and seeing a band) over choice (being exposed to tons of music and choosing the best)? People love to hate on popular websites such as Pitchfork Media because they feel the site has too much taste making power. The beautiful thing about Pitchfork, though, is that through the powers of the internet, they are able to expose readers to SO MUCH music in the period of a week, that it empowers the reader to select and choose the new music that they like best. Go to any given show, and you'll see 3-4 bands. Go to any given website, and you'll have thousands of bands to listen to and evaluate based on your own unique standards. If there is one point I wanted to make with this whole post, its that the internet is creating a more direct relationship between musician and listener.

Regardless about how you feel about whatever the internet's next new thing may be, realize that the internet is the future, and resisting it is totally fruitless. This is the information age! Just because we listen to our parent's music doesn't mean we have to find out about music like them.

Rewriting "History"

The Texas State Board of Education recently took large steps to ensure that a generation of Texans grows up viewing the world through neoconservative eyes. The board radically altered the curriculum for the schools in their state, reshaping history in dramatic ways. Here are some examples of the changes, which textbook manufacturers are sure to accommodate, since Texas is one of their largest markets:

- The exclusion from history book of any conversation of the religious heretic Thomas Jefferson and his contribution to Enlightenment ideals. Instead, students will learn about Thomas Aquinas and John Calvin. These church figures have almost no relevance to Enlightenment philosophy, and in fact were alive around 400 and 100 years, respectively, before Jefferson. So we're not even in the same ballpark here.

- A deemphasis of Roosevelt and the New Deal in favor of mandatory discussion on Ronald Reagan and the conservative resurgence of the 1980's and 1990's. This strikes me as one of the most egregious things in a generally horrific bunch. The fact the this board is robbing students of foundational knowledge of the history of the formative years of the country in favor of very recent history, the long-term significance of which is unknown at best, cannot be intended as anything but brainwashing. This is dystopia in action, people.

- A rejection of a standard in high school sociology courses that distinguishes sex from gender. One board member actually defended this by saying that she worried that discussion of gender roles would lead to a discussion of "transvestites, transsexuals, and who knows what else." I have not been so enraged by a comment in quite a long time. This really shows us who we're working with here. I would very much like to see the author of A Patriot's History of the United States see this and still claim that history is written and decided by anyone other than bigots, of which this woman in particular, and also obviously the majority of the board who consecrated this further institutionalizing of fear and hatred, is one of the most despicable kind.

- A mandate that when McCarthyism is taught, the teacher MUST include that "later release of the Verona papers confirmed suspicions of communist infiltration in U.S. government." I don't think I need to add anything to this one.

- Removal of mentions of the word capitalism, which was determined to have negative connotations, in favor of "free enterprise." This is common practice, and should not be too surprising. This is done among liberals as well as conservatives. Witness, for example, the recent shifts from conversation about "global warming" to "climate change," and the change of branding from "liberal" to "progressive." This is, in fact, a masterstroke by conservatives, as it furthers the agenda of capitalist societies as presenting themselves as the "free" and "natural" way of arranging economic and social relations.

- The rejection of an effort to include specific mention that Tejanos were among the fallen heroes of the Alamo. All five minority members of the board dissented, all 10 white members voted in favor.

Popular history is always selective, agreed upon by the ruling class. However, this is a brand of history not even worthy of the name, devoid as it is of fact, and unprecedentedly extreme as it is in its partiality. This is a dark, dark time in American history, which has been re-written by 10 individuals with an agenda. And those poor fucking kids in Texas will suffer greatly for these individuals' hubris and bigotry. Especially the minorities.

1000 DAYS LATER

1,000 days ago, Gaza became the world's largest out door prison, those are not my words, but the words of John Holmes, the UN's Chief Humanitarian Officer. 

1,000 days ago, Gaza’s gates to the outside world were closed and locked. Pedestrian and commercial traffic came to a grinding halt... and Gaza began its tail spin into the catastrophic reality it finds itself in today become the first territory in recent history forced into a de-developmental nose dive as a  result of a deliberate policy.

For 1,000 days, one Palestinian has died every other day as result of having no access to need medical care... 500 in total since the beginning of the siege according the Palestinian Campaign to Break the Siege on Gaza.

The socio-economic indicators speak for themselves... unemployment is at a staggering 60%... and 80% of the people live under the poverty line dependent on food aid or assistance from international donors. Children have shown signs of stunted growth as a result of malnutrition and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder are common among adults and children.

Power outages are rampant... and rolling blackouts across Gaza are a daily part of life here.

But forget about the indicators... consider the people. The individuals. The 1.5 million people each with a story, each with a struggle, each with a dream and each living in a nightmare.

For 1,000 days, there were students who've worked their entire lives to pursue their right to an education abroad. Accepted at universities around the world, they could do nothing but watch as semester after semester, enrollment date after enrollment date passed them by. Scholarships were lost, research ruined, opportunities forgone. Generations of students who could have one day returned to a Palestinian state the world demands they build, were now forced to sit idly.

For 1,000 days, Gaza' affluent merchant class, born out of its geographic position straddling ancient trade routes between continents, has now been reduced to trading in illegal tunnels across the border with Egypt. A shadowy industry worth millions has given Palestinians their lifeline but stripped away the dignity from young men and boys who crawl for hours in the dark underground to bring in basic foods and goods for the rest of their people.


For
1,000 days, children have had to watch as their elderly parents who raised them through eras of Israeli wars, occupation, land confiscations and more, get sick without being able to provide for them dignified medical care. Those in need of medical care abroad, because Gaza's poor health care system simply does not have the means to treat them here, are reduced to degrading applications and approvals in a bureaucratic system rife with corruption.... and that’s even before they get to the Israeli border, where they are physically searched, humiliated, interrogated, blackmailed and often coerced to work for Israel in exchange for the right to medical care.

For 1,000 days, Palestinian brothers, often from the same families, killed each other in the name of their political organizations to advance their own organization's political ideologies. They have torn the fabric of Palestinian identity into shreds beyond repair, all while foreign regional and international powers sat back, meddling in their daily affairs and threatening to veto any chances of internal Palestinian reconciliation.

And yet for 1,000 days, the people of Gaza have survived. They have survived the inhumanity of it all and they survived a war launched to protect Israel's humanity. They have defied a siege resiliently saying to the world while you have turned your back on Gaza, Gazans will not turn their back on their inalienable human rights. This indomitable spirit is what has driven them to survive for 1,000 days.

For 1,000 days, each night the people of Gaza had to endure was as long as a thousand years but they managed to wake up the next morning hoping that the international community would come to its sense and come to their aid and demand that Israel end its siege. And for 1,000 days, the people here have hoped today would be the last day of this collective punishment...and that tomorrow would be the first day of their collective freedom.  

Cake Police

this is like a microcosm for like america and stuff

update

FROM THA ROOOOADDDD

im on the road

im using a computer that is mysteriously black and without an apple

hopefully my html is stellar regardless

so yeah

im on the road!

that means

im on tour, look!


thats me! the real life me!

and its going well

i almost got beat up last night! yikes!

sides that everythings gravy

ever since nathan aguilar left the band things have been going really well!

h8 that guy

so ive seen a lot of stuff

UNITED NATIONS!!!!




ive seen this stuff

i ate it with my mom

its called......


PANANG!




panang is my favorite "food" i love "eating" it

our guitarist andrew has a different sort of palate



eeee!!!!

throughout my travels

i have met fun and interesting people

ive slept with the sauciest ladies

and smoked the finest of chronics

the most important thing i have come across was in new york

it was a squirrel that someone put a hair tie on so that it looked like a holster



'lil gun wieldin' chipmunk


no matter where i go i always have a home, here....

on cake police

Like It's 2003

Apparently the White House can't afford real 3-D glasses. Take that Republicans! I got your government overspending right here! Seriously though WTF?

P.S. Chris Dodd = American Hero. Finally someone with the courage to say enough is enough with this ridiculous idea of bipartisanship.

P.P.S. If there wasn't already enough incentive to pass health care reform, this should do it.

Costa Rica has universal health care, by the way.

nirvana wednesday

19 years ago today

consider this something provocative and/or offensive

plz fight in the comments

When You Pressure Me For Nude Pics, I Throw Up In My Mouth A Little

Ever want to tell that creepy dude buggin you for nudes to back off, but just not know how to go about it? Fear no more! Thatsnotcool.com has your back! They have super practical Callout Cards for situations as diverse as "textual harassment," "pic pressure," "constant messaging," and "rumors rumors." Check 'em.

And, also, keep this in mind:

(My Funk Goes) On and On...

Your rt it's G-funk I live on tha west and this is G-Funk Barbeque music, like some battlecat, jellyroll yah-area SLUMPERS, thats what we call'em. Ride to the beat-smoke to the beat,Over all the track SLAPS SO DUMMIE HARD!!!Can't help but get blowed and play on Repeat. No one needs to rap over this shit, just smoke a blunt with the hommies and enjoy. This shit makes me nostalgic about my teen years and fucking up but not gettin caught up (at some point, we started get caught though).

Oh Shit! They Flipped It!

Pretty clever, right? This book actually came out back in 2007, but has only recently jumped to the top of the bestsellers lists due to Glenn Beck (or someone who works for Glenn Back) finding out about it. This is the description on Amazon:

For the past three decades, many history professors have allowed their biases to distort the way America’s past is taught. These intellectuals have searched for instances of racism, sexism, and bigotry in our history while downplaying the greatness of America’s patriots and the achievements of "dead white men."

As a result, more emphasis is placed on Harriet Tubman than on George Washington; more about the internment of Japanese Americans during World War II than about D-Day or Iwo Jima; more on the dangers we faced from Joseph McCarthy than those we faced from Josef Stalin.

A Patriot’s History of the United States corrects those doctrinaire biases. In this groundbreaking book, America’s discovery, founding, and development are reexamined with an appreciation for the elements of public virtue, personal liberty, and private property that make this nation uniquely successful. This book offers a long-overdue acknowledgment of America’s true and proud history.

And these are the people who wrote it:

That very smugly concerned looking individual on top is particularly monstrous. A quick glance at his body of work revealed that he is also the author of a few books on similar subjects such as 48 Liberal Lies About American History and America's Victories: Why the U.S. Wins Wars and Will Win the War on Terror. He transcends this laughable ridiculousness, however, in a work of fiction he authored titled September Day, which is a fictional re-imagining of the events of 9/11. This is the unforgivably sensationalist cover:

It gets worse. Here's the description:

September 11 was a day no American can forget, and the reactions it provoked remain with us today. Through the eyes of several individuals, we have a much clearer picture of that deadly day. Meet: -Michael Callahan, FDNY, who finds himself inside the tower as the unthinkable happens. -Falik Maleed, Osama bin Laden's personal assistant, dedicated killer and terrorist, who nevertheless develops misgivings about his employer. -Thomas Palmer, professional football player, who abandons a life of wealth and fame to join the Army to fight bin Laden, then gets his wish. -"Connie" Cataris, an Ivy League economist, whose startling discoveries put him in the middle of an international plot involving bin Laden's financing that threatens to turn the world community upside down The paths of these seemingly unrelated people soon intersect with the lives of terrorist Mohammad Atta, patriotic airline passenger Rod Trainor aboard Flight 93, and dedicated CIA agents Lonnie Jackson and Cliff Harrison, with explosive---and tragic---results. This is the story of 9/11 you never heard, told in a way you never imagined!

He actually just fictionalized the lives of real people, effectively appropriating their lives to fit the narrative he is trying to sell about American greatness, the contours of which I think we can all imagine based on his previous work. And Pat Tillman, no less! Shame on this horrible human being. There aren't enough hells in the universe for people like this.

you babies come to chicago, you get murdered

For All Of You Cake-Eating Film Buffs

watch & download

Thank You, YouTube

YouTube has just introduced a closed captioning feature, which is still in the very early stages of development, and thus is prone to the most hilarious errors of all time. As such, the program is at this point of no help whatsoever to the hearing impaired, but is an amazing gift to the rest of us. So head on over and waste a few hours of your life (the closed captioning control is at the bottom right corner of the frame). This should get you started:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EY39fkmqKBM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvBmUR9iXHE (definitely watch this one with the sound off)

NIRVANA MONDAY

Yeah, okay, according to Earth calendars it is Wednesday. But in another plane of existence it could very well be Monday. That is how the multiverse works. So now you know.

If you're having trouble conceptually placing yourself in this alternate reality, I guarantee that this will make you feel right at home, and probably solve all of the mysteries of the universe for you:

Do you believe me now?

A Note On The Zine

Well, the people have spoken, and though they are few, they are fierce. So we should probably do this damn thing, especially since it really doesn't take that much effort, just a lot of TLC. Plus it should be fun! Since it has probably been a long time since any contributors to this blog thought about the zine in the slightest, maybe a reiteration/discussion of what this thing purports to be is in order.

We (a couple of us) have decided that the idea of a theme is not at all workable/desirable. Hugo Chavez agrees, so you know it's legit. Basically, submit whatever you want, in whatever medium you want. But know that if you submit an unironic defense of capitalism, short shorts, tight T-shirts, or guided tours up Mt. Everest: you will have to defend yourself.

I personally hope and pray every day that people's contributions will be eclectic and span and transcend the available artistic/intellectual spectrum, so maybe keep in mind what you can bring to this that no one else can or will.

I am really trying to kick-start a renewed dialogue with this post, so, maybe, for once in your goddamn lives, contributors and readers alike, use the useful comments section. One idea I have, for enhanced usefulness/creative license, is to abolish the tyrannic 1 horizontal page limit per person. I mean, honestly, what can you substantively state in that absurdly small amount of space (for writers, anyways)? My momma always told me that if something is worth doing, it's worth doing right. So my proposal is that space be only a minor issue. I mean, this is obviously not the forum for your Senior Thesis, but I think a little leeway should be given.

Also, as far as deadlines are concerned, I'm a little torn, personally. My take is that this should absolutely be physically finished by June. That way we will have actual copies for people to take out on summer tours, road trips to anarchist book fairs, trips to grandma's house, etc. In practicality this means have your submissions in by early May. That does not seem a ridiculous thing to ask. Is it?

Take to the comments!