History Lesson For Y'all

Here's are some excerpts from political "pundits" after the massive Republican (sidenote: even though it is painfully clear to us at this point in Earth's history, 2010 BCE in case you time travelled here recently and were confused, it is still funny how a word can signify so many different things, isn't it? Like, the word Republican, for example, can be used to represent both a political group composed of the most non-constructively offensive people in the United States, but it can also be used to represent an emancipatory political group in (mostly Northern) Ireland. Now, bear with me here, because this is going to get a little bit complicated, structurally speaking. I'm going to embed a video on this topic that I think is one of the best and funniest things I have ever seen, and then I am going to pick right back up where this audaciously parenthetically-induced ellipsis of a sentence left off. Ready? Go:



gains in Congress in 1994 (midway through Clinton's first term). The main reason I want to bring these quotes to your attention is to facilitate you finding some humor, dark though it may be, in this coming week. So read these, swap out Clinton's name for Obama's and have some fun seeing history repeat itself next week.

G. Gordon Liddy, on his radio show the day after the election:

"This marks the beginning of the end of the dreadful, disastrous, venal, corrupt, sleazy Clinton presidency. The American people have rescued themselves."

Newt Gingrich, the incoming House speaker, on why the American people had rejected Bill and Hillary Clinton:

"They really are left-wing elitists and they really thought the country didn't get it and therefore it was their job to give the country the government that they thought the country needed, even if they didn't want it. That's the whole history of the health plan."

Rush Limbaugh, on his radio show the day after the election:

"These two years of the Clinton administration have been a national hiccup, a belch. We've gotten rid of our indigestion, and we're ready to move forward."

George Will, on why Clinton wouldn't be able to recover:

"The country is much more conservative than it was when it elected Reagan, and significantly more conservative than in 1992. But liberals will be a larger portion of congressional Democrats in the 104th Congress than in the 103rd.

"If Clinton remains to the left, he will be trying to govern against the grain of the country and will be peripheral to the nation's political conversation. If Clinton moves to the right, he will alienate his base, such as it is -- liberals, blacks and public employees. That base cannot re-elect him but can help unelect him. Regarding the dangerousness of disaffected liberals, Clinton should ask Jimmy Carter about the spring of 1980.

"Clinton cannot win bidding wars with Republicans in tailoring tax cuts or welfare reforms for a conservative country. Yet if he adopts a veto strategy regarding Republican initiatives, who then is the obstructor of "change" and the author of "gridlock"?

"Clinton's decision to conduct the 1994 campaign as an argument with Reagan underscored the conservatives' contention that 1994 is year six of the Bush-Clinton era, and that Clinton, a passionate opponent of systemic change by term limits and a balanced-budget constitutional amendment, clings to the status quo. The October fear-mongering about the campaign illustrated the Democrats' intellectual sterility.

"And speaking of recycling ideas, some Democrats dream of Clinton emulating in 1996 Truman's 1948 run against the "do-nothing 80th Congress.'' But there are three problems. First, Truman was Trumanesque; Clinton would be pretending. Second, Truman rallied liberals and labor when they were formidable and when government enjoyed unnatural prestige as organizer of the victory in war. Third, the 104th Congress will not do nothing."

(Quotes originally discovered through this article at Salon)

But, you see, Bill Clinton DID get re-elected in 1996 (Things I Learned in College 101), and went on to prove himself one of the better Presidents that this country has had in recent memory, though that may not be saying all that much. So, this is also a post tendering some tentative hope. Though this coming week may at first seem to usher in some obscene and catastrophic idiocracy.... it might not be that bad? In any case, Cake Police still loves you! Unless you eat cake or drop your tea bags on the sane people of the world! Then you're fucked!