Come Tuesday, Rush Your Local Record Store

This Tuesday, lots and lots of quality grooves inscribed in wax will be freshly placed on the shelves of your local record store. They will still be warm, probably. With all the stuff coming out, I feel fairly confident that there is something for everyone to get excited about. So, I decided to compile here a list of some of those records, so that you can all get stoked. Some of these I have heard, some I haven't yet, and some I never will. Those I have heard I will briefly summarize, vibe-wise, and those I haven't heard will be accompanied by brief imaginary/speculative descriptions.

Beach House - Teen Dream

Part 3 in what will eventually be revealed, after their long and critically acclaimed career in which they will have ostensibly released many albums, to in fact be the longest single album ever written and recorded. Everyone will revisit the massive work as a whole and be astounded by the cohesiveness of it, left wondering how they could have missed it. Music critics everywhere will be frantically deleting and/or revising old reviews.

Four Tet - There Is Love In You

Will one of these tracks show up in the next James Bond movie?? The suspense is killing me.

J. Tillman - Wild Honey/Black Barge 7"

Two new tracks from the drummer of Fleet Foxes, Seattle resident, and person with whom I have been said to share a physical likeness too many goddamn times. Stripped down, rustic folk music that will have hipster girls everywhere straight up flipping their shit. This little 7" that could will hopefully go on to sell a million copies so that I can continue to get laid when I tell girls at bars that I am, in fact, this dude.

Los Campesinos! - Romance Is Boring

Honestly cannot say enough good things about this one. This band is almost constantly on the verge of devolving into a chaotic clusterfuck of auditory diarrhea, but they somehow manage to pull off this very impressive balancing act between chaos and catchiness, often with shockingly beautiful results. A fantastic band at the top of their game.

Magnetic Fields - Realism

The Magnetic Fields get really into the banjo and good old fashioned old-timey music, really stoned, and decide to make an album featuring a track called "We Are Having A Hootenanny." Much of the album appears catered towards these eponymous "hootenannyers." Still, there are some gems here. I mean, it's the Magnetic Fields, duh.

Retribution Gospel Choir - 2

The guy from Low and friends make a record that resembles a homage to the perceived genius of Kenny Loggins and wait patiently for Top Gun 2: Next Class. If you are a huge Low fan, like myself, there's something for you here, but don't get your hopes up. If not a Low fan, avoid this record like the swine flu. This album does, however, have incredibly beautiful cover art. So go check it out at the record store anyways, and maybe buy it as a good aesthetic addition to your collection.

Spoon - Transference

Spoon continues to sound like the coolest band on the planet.

Volcano I'm Still Excited - Volcano I'm Still Exctied (Vinyl Reissue)

Great opportunity to revisit an old friend. If you haven't heard these guys before, they sound like what Weezer might sound like if they were more interested in writing good music than cashing gigantic checks and pretending to be friends with Lil' Wayne.

So there you have it peeps. Commence stealing money out of your mom's purse now.