Oh, Good

"Federal officials are hoping film director James Cameron can help them come up with ideas on how to stop the disastrous oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

"The "Avatar" and "Titanic" director was among a group of scientists and other experts who met Tuesday with officials from the Environmental Protection Agency and other federal agencies for a brainstorming session on stopping the massive oil leak.

"The Canadian-born Cameron is considered an expert on underwater filming and remote vehicle technologies. "Avatar" and "Titanic" are the two highest-grossing films of all time."

via Huffington Post

Oh, good. Finally. I'm so relieved. If I have any question it is "What the hell took you so long, Feds?!" There are tons of good options James Cameron could bring to the table here. One (and I'm just spitballing here, and am obviously no James Cameron) possible solution James Cameron could bring to the table is to plug the hole with the remains of the Titanic. No good? Maybe if you compressed all of the Avatar film stocks and DVD's into one massive block roughly the size of the moon that would do the job. Or maybe, just maybe (and this should appeal to Cameron and human beings in general), in a truly awesome ending befitting a James Cameron narrative, Cameron himself will dive down into the hole, using his expertise in "underwater filming" and, with the help of his massively inflated ego, singlehandedly block the hole forever and establish himself as one of the great sacrificial heroes of all time. And then be reborn as a Native American tribal leader (Just kidding, that is ridiculous, obviously. Reincarnation is the opiate of the masses).

The last one gets my vote, as it assures the oil spill will be plugged (since James Cameron's ego far surpasses the Titanic or the surely astronomical total size of Avatar media), and also assures that James Cameron will never ever make another movie, or pompously declare himself "King of the World" for having convinced a studio to spend more money on a piece of shit Hollywood movie than anyone else before him. In any case, things are looking up!