The other night I was awakened by my nine-year-old. I remained in the room with her for ten minutes, whereupon she fell back asleep. Unfortunately, I had no such luck. I did manage, however, to keep a record of my brain activity. I present it herewith, strictly in the interest of science.
I wonder how long I've been up. It feels like at least forty minutes. Maybe I should look at the time. No, don't look at the time. How's that gonna help? I'm just curious. Don't look. DO NOT LOOK…three- thirty. Are you happy? Idiot. I told you not to look but you know everything…I can't stand this quilt. The comforter inside always slips down. I’m grabbing at nothing here! I haven't had a good quilt in a long time. Where'd this quilt come from anyway? Tomorrow I'll mention the quilt. She's not gonna like that. She'll say there's nothing wrong with the quilt and that'll be that. It's sad I can't have a quilt I rove…Rove, damn it, that’s the second time today I’ve done that. God, I hate that man. See, this is what he wants. He wants to get in your head. He wants to keep you up. You’re giving him what he wants! If he keeps us all up, we’ll be too tired to fight them. That’s their strategy, and you’re playing right into their hands. We have to start keeping them up. But how? The only things that bothers them enough to keep them up are fetuses. They love that fetus. The fetus and Jesus. Sounds like a comedy team. “Ladies and gentlemen, give a warm welcome to Fetus and Jesus…” Stop thinking about them. I can’t. Try! …Okay, I’m going to think of something else. How about that juicy nectarine I had today. Yum-my. That was dee-licious. The problem is fruit is so inconsistent. When you get a good one, it’s all luck. Fruit is like blackjack. The casino wins most of the time. But at least the casino’s not fixed. I trust the slot machines in Vegas more than the voting machines in Ohio. Even sleazy casino owners in Vegas have more credibility than this bunch…I have to stop killing insects in front of the kids. Am I setting a bad example? What’s my option? Am I supposed to start ignoring flies and ants and let them wander around like they own the place? I guess liberals aren’t supposed to kill insects. See, Rove? I kill them and I rather enjoy it. Maybe you want to sign me up. I like how if you criticize the war you don’t support the troops. You’re the ones sending them over to die, so how is it I don’t support them? If the army was made up of child molesters, then I’d support them. If we went to an all child molester army, I would be their biggest supporter. “Please don’t bring the troops home. Stay the course. Keep them there a long time.”
I wonder how long I've been up. It feels like at least forty minutes. Maybe I should look at the time. No, don't look at the time. How's that gonna help? I'm just curious. Don't look. DO NOT LOOK…three- thirty. Are you happy? Idiot. I told you not to look but you know everything…I can't stand this quilt. The comforter inside always slips down. I’m grabbing at nothing here! I haven't had a good quilt in a long time. Where'd this quilt come from anyway? Tomorrow I'll mention the quilt. She's not gonna like that. She'll say there's nothing wrong with the quilt and that'll be that. It's sad I can't have a quilt I rove…Rove, damn it, that’s the second time today I’ve done that. God, I hate that man. See, this is what he wants. He wants to get in your head. He wants to keep you up. You’re giving him what he wants! If he keeps us all up, we’ll be too tired to fight them. That’s their strategy, and you’re playing right into their hands. We have to start keeping them up. But how? The only things that bothers them enough to keep them up are fetuses. They love that fetus. The fetus and Jesus. Sounds like a comedy team. “Ladies and gentlemen, give a warm welcome to Fetus and Jesus…” Stop thinking about them. I can’t. Try! …Okay, I’m going to think of something else. How about that juicy nectarine I had today. Yum-my. That was dee-licious. The problem is fruit is so inconsistent. When you get a good one, it’s all luck. Fruit is like blackjack. The casino wins most of the time. But at least the casino’s not fixed. I trust the slot machines in Vegas more than the voting machines in Ohio. Even sleazy casino owners in Vegas have more credibility than this bunch…I have to stop killing insects in front of the kids. Am I setting a bad example? What’s my option? Am I supposed to start ignoring flies and ants and let them wander around like they own the place? I guess liberals aren’t supposed to kill insects. See, Rove? I kill them and I rather enjoy it. Maybe you want to sign me up. I like how if you criticize the war you don’t support the troops. You’re the ones sending them over to die, so how is it I don’t support them? If the army was made up of child molesters, then I’d support them. If we went to an all child molester army, I would be their biggest supporter. “Please don’t bring the troops home. Stay the course. Keep them there a long time.”
The rest here.
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